alone in the crowd

Being a worker, single and mid-age is hard to do.. well, im not that unlucky but somethin bothering my mind.. a simple thing but can blow up!
two days ago i was thinking about my next relationship how-it-would-be.. im in the middle of goin to be desperate.. many men come and go.. but most of it im not feel in with them or me just feel comfort with our situation.. when i felt in with one of them, the time isnt right.. huhh!
One time, i asked God.. where is he? which one? him? or him? or that one? that a confusing question fulfil my mind becoz i never know what His answer.. But the good answer of it is slow down. the time will be come with His will..
Have u ever feel alone when u actually in the crowd? you laughing, joking and make some joke with your friends or maybe doin crazy things or somethin that truly make u happy outside?!
--happy outside is u can smile, u can laugh, crawl.. its like u dont have anythin to thing about but honestly u do have it --
now, im feeling it.. i've blessed with my life but one piece is missing and i couldnt find it yet..
i know i shouldn't think about it.. i should let God help and guide me through all this ackward situation but i still learning to slow down.. i wish the time goin fast and i could find the answer..
biarkan Tuhan yang menjawab tepat pada waktunya..